The manifesto of being.
To be or to achieve: this week in happiness
“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.”
Happy Tuesday.
Lately I've been thinking about the pressure to achieve - how it builds up along with my mountain of to-do's, should-do's and could-do's. Instead of motivating me, it just makes me curl up into the fetal position.
Our world glorifies achievement. We measure our worth by what we've done, how productive we are and whether we're making progress towards our goals. Meanwhile, just being - existing, experiencing, living - feels secondary. Although 'it's the journey, not the destination' is now a cliché, we don't behave as if we know it. We base our wellbeing on how productive we are and put happiness on the back burner, happiness is for later, we have work to do. But what kind of life are we creating for ourselves? Not one I'd like to live!
We fall into the 'if only' and 'what if' traps:
If only this had happened, then I'd be happy.
If only I could achieve this, then I could relax.
What if this goes wrong? Then it's the end of the world.
Sometimes I even do this in the moment - treating a single task like it's life or death, letting one frustration cast a shadow over everything else.
But I took a step back, when I took that step back I can see that my circumstances are good - even great - and yet I was letting a single setback sabotage my peace.
All that thinking about the future was keeping me in my head, pulling me away from the now.
"If only" diminishes today's happiness.
"What if" drags future, imagined suffering into the present.
Lately I've felt paralyzed by the future - or maybe I've let the future paralyze me.
But it is time for a change. I feel I need some principles to guide me here, to help me live and enjoy.
To embody this harmony more fully I have come up with some principles.
1. First things first
Look at the to-do list, block out time realistically and actually do the thing. Use your free time with intention, not avoidance. Get into a flow state where you're challenged but engaged.
Being in this article doesn’t mean not doing to-dos it means that doing to-do’s is a side benefit it happens automatically
To take some principles from effortless by Greg Mckeown. Do your tasks, existential dread is optional.
Make it easy- what if this task had only 3 steps instead of 9?
Make it fun- what if I can do this in a cafe next to my friend?
Make it fast- what if I only had an hour to do it?
2. Water the flowers
The things I care about - my skills, my goals, my passions - require consistent effort. If I don't nurture them, they will wither. I need to make time every day to water the flowers.
3. A strong core: Sacrifice & Saying No
Know what you want to do with your time and protect it from intrusions.
Distractions pull me in all directions. YouTube, mindless scrolling friends inviting me to do something I don't want to do. Yes to everything is keeping me from doing the things I really need to do. I can either remove the distractions or remove myself from them. Detox time.
4. Move your body
When I feel stuck, overwhelmed or restless, the answer is often simple: move. Take a break. Stretch. Take a walk. Shake up the energy.
5. Find your balance: Work and rest go hand in hand
We all know we need rest after work, but the reverse is also true - too much rest without meaningful action leads to stagnation. The key is balance: work isn't my identity, but I still need to move forward.
6. Feeling without fueling
I read this in Yung Pueblo's Substack and it hit home: feel without fueling. When I am unproductive it can create a spiral of guilt or frustration that keeps me out of the now, that builds the shame/procrasination cycle and keeps me from enjoying my time. I don't have to double down on it. I can feel it, accept it and move on.
7. Do something fun
Life isn't just about commitments. The whole point of all of this is to take care of yourself in a way that allows you to enjoy your life, so do it enjoy.
A poem about this:
Potential
So often seen as the ability to achieve
To be something
But to be something
Other than who you are right now
Just be
And the something will work itself out
Better Vibes Exercise: Be Who You Are Right now.
Recommendations
How to have an impact on a big world:
https://forum.effectivealtruism.org/topics/itn-framework
More notes about effortless:
https://www.grahammann.net/book-notes/effortless-greg-mckeown
One of my favorite clips of all time: